I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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