Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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