OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
