So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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