my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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