he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
