i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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