You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Everything about him screamed your future.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
