Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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