You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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