Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
