We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
