no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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