we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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