1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
