If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
