i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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