i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
