I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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