If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
