Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
