Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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