my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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