The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
