We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
