White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
