How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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