In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
