dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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