Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
