maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
