Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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