U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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