I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize