lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
