is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
