I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
