why didn't you poke me back
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
