Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize