I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
