you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
