dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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