He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
