i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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