I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was CRYING into my vagina
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
