Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Some milfs here doing some blow
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.