the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
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WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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