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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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• (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

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• (914): View more from New York

  Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?

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