So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT