Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

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(785): Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin? http://tfl.nu/3vvd

Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (794)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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(717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh

Replies (27) Good night (2484) Bad night (6879)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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(484): I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere. http://tfl.nu/zvpn

Replies (20) Good night (5358) Bad night (1126)
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(480): View more from Arizona

omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.

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(480): omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house. http://tfl.nu/91p3

Replies (60) Good night (2114) Bad night (6036)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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(605): For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell. http://tfl.nu/5mii

Replies (7) Good night (3556) Bad night (1628)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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(215): I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done. (1-215): I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together. http://tfl.nu/q0m2

Replies (19) Good night (4875) Bad night (1064)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night

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(785): Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night http://tfl.nu/utdq

Replies (1) Good night (2314) Bad night (908)
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(425): View more from Washington

Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?

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(425): Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You? http://tfl.nu/qxi1

Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (1459)
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(626): View more from California

I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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(626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (614)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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(231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa

Replies (7) Good night (1132) Bad night (542)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...

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(843): There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room... http://tfl.nu/5owj

Replies (3) Good night (1338) Bad night (542)
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(720): View more from Colorado

She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

(303): View more from Colorado

thermos full of jaeger bombs?

(720): View more from Colorado

Affirmative

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(720): She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable (303): thermos full of jaeger bombs? (720): Affirmative http://tfl.nu/e05o

Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (445)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

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(985): I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary http://tfl.nu/6z7x

Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (445)
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(406): View more from Montana

That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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(406): That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ierd

Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (282)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.

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(423): If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker. http://tfl.nu/0llf

Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (213)

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