i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....