I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?