god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
