I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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