i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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