so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
