its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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