The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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