this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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