Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This toilet bowl is my home.
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