the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
