Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
