I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
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