his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
