New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
