if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
