maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
