I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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